Divorce papers are signed. What now?

    Are you coming out of divorce?  You have earned your degree, gone to family court and the papers are signed. This experience is shockingly anti-climactic, and you may feel the void in a sudden swoosh that is unlikely to bring any illusion of relief.

          Now what?  Go home to the babysitter and pour a round of victory milk?

    Is there a threshold that you have to drag yourself across to feel that you have moved to the next incarnation of this life?  Exiting a marriage is a real achievement, and requires skills that prepare you for looking out for yourself.

But can you see that you are embarking on your next journey as a sole parent, an un-found lover, and an unnerving happy hermit?

      Are you feeling that with the completion of this divorce,  you have traded in the pains of belonging for those of longing? It is human nature to teeter on the edge of something. But the deed is done and the decisions are made.

      There is a whole new life to aggregate with your life as a mom. So please don’t hide behind the mask of normalcy to entertain thoughts of  mere survival. Placing this mask on only leads to emotional paralysis.  It is comforting to hide behind ‘a nose to the grindstone persona’ fearing to look into the emotional complexity of the end of your marriage. We nest behind the mask, but we need to ask more of ourselves, more from this life we are here to curate.  Reach for the crown to be sovereign of the life you make, and to meet the self you are becoming.

      We might feel like a servant to the new conditions, but we are on the road to being self-sovereign.  Sovereignty is the power to choose, and choices always come with a shadow of things we have had to leave behind. We honor our power to choose. We choose who we serve in the coming days. We also choose to honor the depths of our feelings in ritual space, so we don’t continue to swim in circles, but to cross the river to land in the new place in relation to our divorce story.

So, UnBride me now! Unbridle yourself from this story. Your spiritual quest awaits…

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